Wife's Broken Bra

I Swear I'll Divorce You!

“Look at this!” my wife demanded of me as we drove down our street, her hands at her side and chest raised towards me.

“Well Ok” was all I could muster.

“Look at this!” she demanded again as she pointed to her chest.

I was happy to comply. Daya’s expensive bra had a hole in it right over the left nipple, which protruded.

“Can you get the other one to do that too?” I half laughing asked a rather annoyed wife.

She was tearing through the center console of our minivan as I drove on.

“Maybe you could put a tissue or something in the bra to hide it” I offered as she happily exclaimed, “Here it is!” pulling a roll of packaging tape from the console.

I was lamenting the fact that I had run out of stories to post moments before Daya pulled the tape from the console. It was like the sound of Mozart’s oboe rising above a chorus of strings like a bird perched above a garden wall.

“You’re gonna tape your nipple?” I honestly asked.

“NO! I’m gonna tape the bra”, she said as she tore a small square piece of clear tape from the plastic applicator.

“It’s gonna hurt ya know”, I cautioned her.

“I’m not taping me, I’m taping the bra!” she snapped at me and worked her way into her bra with the piece of tape.

“I know but it’s got edges and’s gonna hurt after awhile”.

“Damned!” she shouted.

The tape had folded over and stuck to itself. She tried a second piece and told me to watch the road. It seemed to work as she smiled broadly pointing her chest at me for my approval.

“Kinda like the way it was”, I said.

“Shut up!” was expected and received.

“Still think a second hole over the right nipple was a better option” I murmured.

It was quiet for another moment when I said, “Ya can’t make this stuff up. I mean I was frustrated that I couldn’t think of anything to post and then you...”

“If you do, I swear I’ll divorce you”, Daya interrupted.

“But you taped your bra!”, I laughed.

“I swear the papers will be in the mail the moment I read the blog post!”, she slowly anunciated for me.

I'm taking my chances that a woman with a scotch taped bra won't leave me.