Serious Writing

My wife tells me I should consider becoming a serious writer. "Don't write anything humorous or light hearted?" I asked and continued "'Cause I like the lighter stuff." My wife responded that she knew I liked the lighter stuff meant I should become serious about being a writer. I thought for a second and asked her if that could include writing the lighter stuff but with a serious expression. It was at that point she called me an ass and walked away from me. I kept talking, somewhat put off by the attack, 'cause it's a small house and there wasn't anywhere in the house she could go and still not hear me. "Well, that was uncalled for" I said a bit hurt. And she was all, "How do you get through the day without dieing you idiot?" "Oh man" I was like and "are you like having a really bad period?" I added a bit of the CT valley girl up=tick at the end of the sentence, which really went over well. She just kinda glared at me and I thought I really need another cup of tea and like magic she threw one at me. "My God, I have powers!", I thought. "I really should be more serious about what I write. My thoughts have powers!" "You have the power to annoy!" Daya shouted at me as she tried vainly to find a room where she couldn't hear me. "My God I can project my thoughts into other people!" I added. "You said it out loud you moron!" my wife shouted from another room. I didn't respond. How could she, with a normal mind, understand what was happening to me. But she was right, timid and primitive as her brain was, I should be more serious about what I write. I considered events in my life and made a list of what to write:
1. If a Pit bull has ya by the throat, try not to struggle and fight. It only intimidates them. Try petting and talking nicely to it.
2. Toasting buttered bread is a really bad idea. First toast THEN butter the bread!
There's so much more, but I need to rest.