Better Moms and Dads Mandate

Charles Darwin was said to have been really depressed in his old age. He lamented that the human race was doomed as the less intelligent tended to reproduce faster and money seemed to find its way into the hands of an equally uninspiring bunch.

This got me to thinking. To save humanity, hospitals should make circumcision optional but vasectomies a required procedure for new-born male children. If the child reaches the age of say, 25, 'cause that's when brains are suppose to be fully developed, they can have the vasectomy reversed, but only after passing two tests. The first test is knowing where babies come from and that you have to have the reversal procedure. We can weed out a lot of ignoramuses that way. The second would be a general intelligence test. I'm not talking advanced calculus, just common sense stuff. Here's an example:

Question: Your standing naked in an ice field and notice a polar bear rushing towards you. You would:

a. Stand perfectly still 'cause polar bears can only see objects in motion.
b. Pick up a piece of frozen excrement, oh trust me it will be there, and throw it at the bear as white polar bears can't stand the thought of being soiled
c. Do nothing, 'cause ain't no way in hell I'd be caught naked in a hungry-polar bear-infested ice field.

Clearly only those answering "C" should be considered for a reversal. Likewise, I feel an additional test and psych profile is in order when applying for a driver's license to determine if your smart or stable enough to have a horn installed in your car. I've a good feeling there'd be a whole lot of hornless autos without car seats if implemented. Politicians and lawyers, most of whom would never had been born if these recommendations had been implemented decades ago, would be barred from public office or the practice of law unless having first passed both the general intelligence test AND produced a child, here's the limiting factor, WITH THEIR WIFE.