Ever been hassled by well meaning religious fundamentalists? I had these guys at my door every Sunday afternoon for about four months. I didn't want to be mean, but after 12 weeks or so, I had had enough. I told my oldest and at the time only daughter, not yet three, to go to her room for awhile. I took care for her to know that she wasn't punished, but Dad had some business to take care of business, business I didn't want her to see.
The house we lived in at the time was an old Craftsman style with sheer embroidered curtains covering a large glass front door. It was difficult to see through from a distance, but as you approached the door, in the shade of the porch, the entire living room was clearly visible. As soon as my daughter was in her room and occupied, I promptly removed every stitch of clothing I had on and stood, legs slightly spread, arms folded, in front of the large glass door. I recall giggling as the team of evangelists approached and how I was breifly distracted by the mesmerizing patterns the rays of sunlight created on my naked body. A loud sound from just outside on the walkway to the house redirected my attention, "Oh Jesus! Oh Lord!" a fat well dressed Lady of about 60 shouted as she flailed her arms about. "What's wrong?" the others with her asked, extemely concerned, one even supporting her. "SCORE!", I thought "SHE SAW!" "We have to go!" the fat lady frantically demanded, gasping for air forcing her past the others in her retinue. "But he's a nice man" protested one of the team hell bent on saving me. "No we have to go!" she insisted refusing to answer why, when they demanded an explaination. She was apparently too embarrassed to tell them what she saw. Like clockwork, as I finished dressing, my daughter came out to ask if I was finished. I looked at the slowly retreating shaken evangelists and replied terribly satisfied, "Yep, I think I'm finished!" I didn't see them again.
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