So Why Does Mom Have to take Your Last Name?

While camping in Maine with the family and my oldest daughter's best girlfriend Dhara, my 8 years old, asked me why mom had to take my last name? It was an EF Hutton moment as all eyes focused on me. My answer requires soem background.

The previous night, Daya and I lay in our little two man tent just across the camp site from the family sized tent that Erica, 24, friend Anna, 25, boyfriend Jeff, 25, Mina, 12 and Dhara slept in. We were woken about 2am by a loud crash outside that sounded like garbage being thrown about. I grabbed the flashlight, unzipped the tent port and took a look. directly across from me were two bright green eyes peering back at me from scattered garbage from a bag we forgot to secure. "What is it?", Daya whispered. I hesitated and whispered back. "I think it's Alice Cooper?" "What?" Daya responded and suggested that it might be a racoon. ""Way too big to be a racoon. Way too big to be Alice too", I whispered back. As we spoke the pair of bright eyes slowly receded slowly into the darkness and faded away. I turned the light off, waited a second and turned it back on. The glowing eyes had returned and stared back at me unflinching. Slowly they receded again. "Ok must be a racoon. Alice wouldn't have slunk away like that. Probably shout something like, 'Dude, the light I'm eating man!'" I sighed and said, "I gotta go run him off and pick up that garbage." "Not afraid of the racoon?", Daya asked a bit cncerned. "No, I'm afraid of Alice Cooper, not racoons", as I searched for my sandals. "Racoons got rabbis ya know. i'm gonna need someone to kep an eye out with the flashlight while I pick up ther garbage. I'm gonna be down at racoon level and this one's as big as Alice Cooper. I think I heard Jeff in the other tent should I get him", I quietly asked Daya. "You don't think I'm going out there do you?", Daya responded not so quietly and a tad incensed that I would suggest she go with me. "Yeah" was all I said and stepped out of the tent. I hesitated and stuck my head back into the tent. Doesn't Steven King live in maine?" "he's not scary", Daya reassured me continuing "he just writes about scary stuff." "Yeah,", I whispered back, "but he thinks of that stuff and he's somewhere nearby and..." "Raccoon!", Daya snapped at me pointing into the darkness. I mustered courage and hoped for a racoon. "Jeffery", I called to the other tent and asked for help. Anna mustered her best feminine voice and sang, "I'm so glad I'm a girrllll!", moching Jeff as he joined me to clean up.

The next morning, Dhara asked why girls take husband's names when they got married. I answered, " 'cause when you and mommy hears a noise in the middle of the night, who gets up and checks?" erica added, "And kills roaches", "and spiders!", Daya added. Anna pointed to the woods and added,"And Raccoons!". Erica looked at Anna and said "Sounds like a deal to me!" Anna replied, "Glad I'm a girl!" Dhara just said, "OOOhhhhhh!"