Magical Dad Makes Family Disappear!

I've discovered that I have amazing magical powers recently. All I have to do is pull out a tool of any sort and my wife and daughters disappear. Freaky cool thing. If I actually start using the sucker I can make them reappear at a mall somewhere, far from me and whatever work is at hand. After that, it's beer and cigars on the porch. Only down side is that if I don't actually do some work, the trick stops working.

Recently I diiced to take the trick to a new level, magically transportuing tha wife and daughters to another state!  I was thinking a HBO special or something at the time. I began remodelling the bathroom. Bad idea. Turns out it's a lot of freaking work man. Been at it for days. The drywall is the worse. Half way through the tear out I was thinking, "wouldn't it be great if I found a body in the wall?" That would stop all work for days, cops are like that, and keep the family miles from home for maybe weeks. I hit the drywall with renewed vigor as if wishing made it possible. Then I thought, whoa what if I found MY body in the wall. I'm sure they've been trying to kill me. Maybe this is a "Sixth Sense" kind of thing where I'm actually dead and I need to be convinced to move on. You know it might not be such a far fetched idea. The wife and kids do ignore me a lot... mostly... all of the time. And things I own tend to never be there when i look for them, like I don't matter any more. maybe I'm actually dead and finding my body would explain a lot. And it might get that creepy sweaty kid who keeps following me around off my back for awhile. I hit the wall so hard with the hammer that I nicked a bit of the wall in the next room. No more hair cuts! No hangovers!  "HEY!" I though to my self. "They don't even look sad!" I knelt before the wall motionless for a bit, sweat making tracks as it running down my plaster caked face. "They can make their own damned breakfasts tomorrow morning!", I murmurred to myself and resumed the demolition. Just a little more wall left and I'm home free! Crash........................... No body. a trcikle of blood ran down my arm reinforcing the fact that I was indded still alive. "Damned!" I said aloud, "Now I gotta replace this damned wall!" I wonder who that creepy kid is?